A Long Yesterday...

January 1, 2019.

Packed a suitcase, chased my dreams.
Changed location, changed my address-country, city, street,
One way ticket in.
One sandaled shaking foot in front of the other, this was it, I was all in.
Shoulders squared but my mind a revolving halo of hope, anxiety, excitement, fear

2019...this was the year.

Thousands of pretty pennies already invested into this venture, I came armed with a worryingly finite sum of USD cash, 2 roasted breadfruits, 5 fried fishes and my mother in tow...bittersweet emotions, so many things unsure.

This was the year I got into my first choice of a program in my specialty of passion Internal Medicine in a first world country. Literally, a dream came through. Summary statement- many challenges and lessons but no regrets. I've come close but how could I have any? 2 years of studying, countless moments of doubt , 3 succesful exams, a few long flights and fervent prayers later and now I'm here. Perched in a new seat of higher learning and humility, my own personal growth and development have certainly been catapulted by this move.

Blessed with new friends, new scenes,I transitioned from writing in a docket to typing in drug orders from a computer screen; I am here. Living, breathing, gyming, being, becoming...

This yesterday also marks the first time I ever donated blood. My fear of needles temporarily overcome by a greater need to help those in need, excuses bled and laid to rest.

This was the year I was inducted as a Rotarian, an honorary service club helping thousands across the world. My personal goal to "give back" to society only just begun.

This yesterday was dented by my first motorvehicle accident, one of the scariest days of my life to date as the experience was complicated by being in a new country, alone and let's just say on the wrong side of town. The PTS (post traumatic stress) is too real.

This yesterday I gained connections so dear but also leveled up in mastering the art of blissful solitude-an oh so important feat for me. Took time to observe the strengths and weaknesses in myself and those around me and accepted the differences as they came; shifted roles accordingly and shared and served enough of myself as needed.


This yesterday my own personal challenges continued to strengthen my empathy towards those in the silent screaming fight for healthy mental health. We survived. May we all take from yesterday the right combination of tools to navigate yet another rotation of the earth . May we hold ourselves duly accountable, hold our loved ones tighter and hold on to the reins of life a bit longer.

So long to a long, eventful, blessed yesteryear and cheers to a new one!

 

*United we stand, divided we fall*

From a rock to a bird

Immobile, rooted in a timeless standstill
Vulnerable, exposed, at any moment ready to be the next roadkill

Half in half out
Of the dirt, the soil from which I came
The same soil that now tries so hard my soul to maim

Wedged between hope and a past and legacy so humble and dear
Wedged between the balance of life and a cocoon of disappointment and fear

A rock, tethered until the next force of nature determines its fate
Will it be overturned?buried further?or finally released to be great?
The rain-to secure the chemical bonds of it's eternal bed of clay
The sun to dry its tears to prevent obscuring its view of another day
The wind to every so gently or harshly toss it just so
Giving it direction, purpose, a challenge of where to go and
what to do when you're an immortal entity in life's garden

Hang tight
You too will one day sprout colourful wings
Be still, young rock, think on these things
The bird eats pebbles...you'll contribute to its growth
Til one day you're the new bird,the rock, both!

https://instagram.com/stories/kayeiam_simmonds/2209803300805846105?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igshid=1bsuxvegu4qvv

*United we stand, divided we fall*

Pillow Talk

                         

Trying to hold back these tears is like trying to hold a ball of cloud in your grasp;
Ultimately, between lip-bitting, lips trembling escape tiny gasps.
Those tiny wisps of cotton-looking pleasure you're trying so hard to reach,
As another harsh life lesson life attempts to teach.
They will fall, let them fall, surely they must end.
The question we're often crippled by is 'but when??'

Dry pillows -I know that's all that you want,
To escape the feeling of pain that constantly haunts,
Taunts, pecking at your shell, penetrating your core,
The hacking sobs leaving your once strong muscles sore.


Will the darkness not come to hide these tears to usher me into the sleep of blissful oblvion?
'Til morning arrives and the mask I must once more dorn.
Must it come though? morning light, to challenge my growing skills of deceipt.
You see me smiling but wet pillows are my receipt.


                       

(From the anthology "The Voice" by yours truly)

The Voice

"The tongue can paint what the eyes can't see". (Chinese proverb)

Welcome!

Here's a prelude to my very own anthology of poems dubbed "The Voice", that was started years before its inception and, as the sands of time, likely equally unsure of the date of its completion!

Here you will find different voices resonating through your mind's ears, stimulating you to empathise, observe and ponder just a little bit more. Not everything is as it seems, not every view you've heard, not every perspective has been shared. You'll find entries often penned at the many peaks and troughs of my spectrum of emotions in reflection of experiences that have deeply captured my attention.

Let's let the lovely literary juices flow! Trod gently this journey whose corridors are the prisms of opinions and reality.

Atlas:

1.Pillow Talk
2.Living Among the Dead
3.To Be or Not to Be
4.The  Rising 
5.These Eyes
...To be continued!

Living Among the Dead

 

Help!
I cry from my rock hard bed of stones,
My only reassurance of life is the painful sounds of groans and moans
Some of which I'm not even certain are my own.
Am I alone?No-others are slowly dying around me too,
I'm beginning to think my moments of being alive are but few.
Alas!The hub of strong strange voices is the welcoming music I hear,
Help!But they seem so far away, yet so ver,very near...
Help!I cry with what little strength I have left,
Don't leave...not yet...not yet...
(Voice of a Haitian victim)

I'm helping to save lives and even recover the dead,
It's rewarding, fulfilling, heart-wrenching, dread.
The Caribbean sea swells with the volume of tears being shed.
(Voice of a search and rescue personnel)

 I'm alive!But my family is in there too!
 Can't you do something?Is that my sister's   shoe?
 See her lying lifeless, wounded, still,
 What angered Mother Nature, causing her   my sister to kill?
 (Voice of a survivor).

Too much voodoo down there!
Too much evil dominates their land!
So the Most High had to step in and take a stand!
Food for thought,yes, but are we any more deserving than them?
Don't we too kill,maime, steal,sin everyday? What gauaranteed us being spared the same fate?
(Voices of one who judges and one representing the judged).

Thank God for life, His mercies, food, clothing, shelter
These things I can so freely enjoy
While Haiti lies in ruins,
Those alive struggling to survive among the dead.
(Voice of one thankful)

Which are YOU????

 *Written  January 10, 2010 during the immediate aftermaths of that devastating earthquake in Haiti a few hours earlier*

*Divided we fall,united we stand*